Actions speak louder than words
As my wife and I stood patiently in the long line at Subway, I think I finally discovered why being deployed two times to Iraq makes me different from those around me. There in front of me stood two young men talking loudly and being rather obnoxious. I tried to ignore these clowns, but as much as I wanted to, with every foolish act they exhibited I became more infuriated. In my mind I was screaming, “Please shut the hell up and grow up.” It wasn’t long before one of the young men was interrupted from their circus performance by a phone call. I normally don’t pay much attention to people talking on their cell phones, but this time I couldn’t help it. The conversation I overheard put some things in perspective. The young men were fresh out of Basic Training. They had just arrived at the installation and were beginning their military careers. These two men happened to be wet behind the ears infantrymen, or shall I say boys. They made it clear to everyone in the Subway that they were going to Iraq and planned on getting them some … (use your imagination).
I stared at the ground gritting my teeth. I felt this overwhelming desire to confront these young soldiers and tell them what I felt about their comments and their disgraceful presentation of an American solider. My wife tapped my shoulder and said quietly, “Let it go. They’re just young boys.” Once again I found myself going through my life’s slide show. I started to think about how I was before I deployed the first time, and for that matter, how some of my friends were. Were we ever like these two young men?
My wife and I jumped in the car, and I finally exploded. “They have no clue; they’re in a dream world.” By now, my wife understands that when I go down this road to just listen and not interrupt. “You know what the difference is between men who have been through the suck and those who haven’t?” My wife answered cautiously, “I am sure there’s a lot.” I continued my rant: “The number one thing is veterans know war is not an Xbox game; there is no restart button. Also, war is nothing like the movies.” I started to calm down a little and finished. “I bet if we came across those young men when they come back from Iraq, their disposition would be different.”
With that incident on my mind, I spent some time this week asking soldiers who have been deployed what they think the big difference is between deployed soldiers and non-deployed soldiers. Their answers mirrored what I believe. The following traits seem to be the most mentioned in the survey of 50 soldiers who have been deployed twice.
Deployed soldiers' characteristics: bearing, confident, courageous, possess integrity, decisive, enduring, tactful, able to take initiative, cool, mature, assertive, dry sense of humor, competent, committed, creative, self-disciplined, humble, flexible, empathetic, compassionate.
Non-deployed soldiers' characteristics: Eager, uneducated on the realities of war, wet behind the ears, not as disciplined, egotistical, loud, lack of appreciation for life, judgmental, indecisive, invincible mentality.
While conducting this survey, the biggest thing I noticed was that those who commented seemed a little disappointed in the new men who were in the ranks. One leader I highly respect stated the following: “In my humble opinion, Hollywood and the glamorization of war has affected the new generation of soldiers. I put a lot of the blame for this generation of soldiers on playing Xbox — and not studying history and understanding war. The one thing the command leadership is great at is really getting these young boys as much experience as they can through training and exposing them to the truth of war. This includes sleepless nights, seemingly endless patrols, recovering vehicles, and — most of all — first responder drills. Some of the men might not be the greatest shooters in the world, but they will definitely know how to save your life, under stress and in calm situations.”
The war has changed with every year it continues, and so have the men coming through the ranks. However, from those I have talked to, there is a great push for education and teaching young men to grow up and to take things seriously; to take every day of training as survivability education. As one of the leaders I talked too said, “It only takes one young man who has never been to combat to think that he is invincible while on patrol, and before he knows it, he’s no longer just a boy anymore, rather a man who just might have to grow up and do things that may save everyone around him.”
When I look back and see how I used to be and what I have learned on my two tours, I am thankful that I am still around to teach young men that once you get on that bird and fly away it is real and there’s no mommy or daddy. The streets are full of people, and the sounds of explosions and gunfire are all around. These are meant to do one thing — and that is kill. When I think of those men in the Subway, I only pray that through their training over the next months, or however long it is, they learn to grow up and realize that the party is almost over, and now is the time to start getting right — in actions and in speech.
I for one agree to an certain extent, But you cannot blame this actions on a game. If these young boys were taught right by their parents,they should have had more respect for others.I am a parent of 3 fine boys and 2 girls,And one of my sons past away in the Navy and I have taught all my children from birth to the present to be respectful of others and life.It all begins at home and I
can not blame the games. My children play war games but know the difference from real war. Their father has served in Iraq 3 times and is going back for the forth to work for a private company. Like i said , It all Begins at home. sincerely Judith bell
Posted by: Judith Bell | 26 April 2008 at 18:22