David Hardt

Last week I wrote about putting on the breaks and taking time to appreciate the things around you, and I have. Instead of pounding the streets day after day trying to get in those 50 miles a week, relentlessly getting in shape, getting ready to compete in the 10-mile trails, I start to look at the one person who has been there supporting my addiction — my very pregnant wife, Alicia. I could write an entire book on men dealing with their loved ones who are pregnant. The biggest thing I would advise young men to do is to take time to learn how to be a father before becoming a father. How do you do that, one may ask. Well, everyone has his own way of going about it. I find myself doing the following.

n Going on walks or field trips without dogs or camera.
n Reading or playing music to the baby.
n Giving backrubs. This is very important because any pregnant woman will tell you that her back is taking the brunt of the baby’s weight. When I give my wife a backrub it takes her mind off of things.
n I have been more attentive to her emotions. You have to pay close attention to the hormone roller coaster. My wife can be happy one moment, and in the next she’s giving me the evil eye.
n Cleaning the house. Cleaning the house can be a task for anyone, especially for a pregnant woman. Just stepping in and doing dishes and maybe even doing the laundry takes away the stressors.
n Adapting is really important. Hanging out with Alicia is like hanging out with a pro football team after a game — really, really hungry. It doesn’t matter what time it is; I get up and find some food or, to be more specific, her favorite dark chocolate. Once I brought her milk chocolate, and that is when the evil eye appeared. Whoops.
n Last and, in my opinion, the most important thing — spending time talking about the future and how we hope to lead little Madison in this fast and unpredictable world.

As the months have passed during this pregnancy, there have been many things that have occurred in my Army life — some very stressful and complicated. Daily I must sort things out and do reality checks. Coming back from Iraq was like coming back to a new world and a new life. Some good things have transpired, and some really bad things have crossed my path. The most important thing at this time is to learn how to be a father, and doing that has helped me to be a better husband. I know there are many things to learn about being a father. I know that I will have my daily ups and downs, but who doesn’t? I pray every day that the difficulties of my time in the Army and my experiences in Iraq in some way will make me stronger and wiser and will help me to lead by example. My wife is my mission from now on — like it should have been in the first place.

Comments

[Gloria]

Congrats on the new soon to be little one. You sound like a proud daddy all ready, and I am sure you will be just that. Take care of your Alicia...and give her exactly what she needs and wants......YOU and dark chocolate...

[janice kelly]

Wow is this my David talking. I am so excited about our first grand child I am so proud of you and my daughter in law. I have only wanted on thing. That is you are happy and I would have a grand child. I am counting our days. You will be a great Dad as you have learned what a Dad really needs to do. Love you both Mom

[Sharon Soames]

I ditto the comments of Janice Kelly, the other Grandmother-to-be. Steve & I are so excited to welcome Madison to our lives. We are pleased and greatful to hear of David's committment to being a loving husband and father and know that Alicia will be a loving and attentive wife and mother as well. The challenges of military life and service are intense and great, but loving and raising a child to face a world of challenges is in itself a major responsibiliy that comes without training or instruction manual yet is so rewarding. We love you and support you in this journey.
Steve & Sharon Soames